Of Choices, Repercussions, and Finding the Way
by wanderingxscribe
Summary: AU storyline in which most of the Arrancars/Espada survive and face probation. A night of too much celebratory revelry and Yylfordt Granz finds himself facing an uncertain future when he realizes that he'd gone quite a bit further than he'd planned. Add in a pregnancy and it's a recipe for disaster when he realizes that the father of the child is the Sexta he serves and loves.
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: Plot is mine and the characters are borrowed in this work of fanmade-fiction off of which no money is made._

 _Summary: Surviving Aizen was hard enough in and of itself. Dealing with probation thanks to Soul Society wasn't any better but it meant that they weren't eliminated all together. So a bit of a celebration wasn't out of the question. The only problem: fate seemed to like making things complicated no matter what was wanted otherwise and Yylfordt Granz wishes it didn't seem to enjoy having fun at his expense._

Author's note: _Grimmjow/Yylfordt because I wanted it and because I couldn't find any with these two. Obviously canon-divergent because canon just doesn't exist in my universe. Warnings on a chapter by chapter basis but know that the premise of this fic is m-preg so if that is not your cup of tea then I would not suggest this fic. Also, this fic is pretty unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. Always up for thoughts, comments, etc so don't be afraid to leave a review._

 _Prologue_

The suggestion of a celebration in and of itself wasn't a bad idea considering the circumstances. The bad idea came from the lieutenant who brought the alcohol and said that it wasn't a celebration without it. The worst idea was going along with it regardless of the fact that it definitely was a bad suggestion.

Waking up, a low groan of agony escapes Yylfordt. Just what had been in what the woman brought? Staggering for what he hoped was the bathroom. he spends far too long with his stomach revolting to feel like this was a worthwhile choice of activities. Of course this leads to a necessary shower because that was just unbecoming and he felt disgusting. Once dressed, he stumbles for the mess hall to get something to eat that might ease what was pounding between his eyes.

"Too much fun, eh?" comes a sympathetic voice once he slumps into a chair.

"Th-the hell was anyone thinking?" he groans miserably as he glances up at the speaker and finds himself staring at the captain of Squad 13 which for some reason doesn't seem as much a surprise as he would have thought.

A cup is lightly pressed into his hands. "Drink that. It'll help. As for the thought-processes...well, it's been a long few years, Yylfordt. We were all tired of the circumstances," Juushiro responds quietly.

Bringing the mug to his lips, he sips the drink and while finding it bitter discovers that it helps immensely. "M-maybe," he agrees before pausing, "I just...Ugh, never again."

"I would certainly not advise enjoying that sort of drink too much as a rule especially with how...potent Lieutenant Matsumoto likes it."

With the headache subsiding, he gives into a bit of curiosity at this whole situation and asks, "Do you do this often?"

Juushiro chuckles. "Shunsui is a dear friend and he has a habit of over-imbibing. Besides, it was pretty foreseen after all that's been decided."

"Anyone else stumbled out?"

The male shakes his head. "You're actually the first one awake."

That was surprising since he tended to like to sleep in but Yylfordt wasn't questioning it. The headache was passing which was good enough. He just wishes he could recall where all the bruises he'd gotten came from when he'd showered because he had no idea.

And part of him was sure that it was best not to wonder too much. So he pushes it aside and sits with the cup cradled between his hands. Probation. They were on probation. But at least...at least they were safe.

He's halfway through the cup when he senses another and turns to watch Tesla stumble in. Red eyes narrow at the disheveled look to the blond before he'd set the cup down and move to him. It's proven a good idea when Tesla nearly takes a nasty tumble to the floor. Catching him, Yylfordt is not pleased at the sight of a darkening bruises on his cheek. "Tesla," he says quietly, "Please tell me that he didn't…"

"It wasn't Master Nnoitra," comes the immediate defensive reply that has him gritting his teeth because he knew better.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" he demands as he takes hold of the others chin and raises it to face him.

"It wasn't. Yylfordt…"

"Stop. Protecting. Him!" Yylfordt snarls out, "This doesn't help anyone let alone you when you defend that prick!"

Tesla tenses and tries to pull away but can't manage it and finds himself instead having to brace against his chest. "He didn't mean it," comes the weak reply, "He didn't...He doesn't take alcohol well, Yylfordt. That's all. He didn't mean to hit me."

The denial is on the tip of his tongue but he forces it back because he knew it wouldn't help. Tesla had never listened when it came to the violent male he served so pushing wasn't going to do anything but make it worse. So he just brings him to the chair next to him so he could observe the injury more clearly. "Yylfordt…"

"Accident or not, that was a shitty thing to do," Yylfordt says sharply as he lightly touches the skin around it hating the soft sounds of pain that escape from between the other's lips.

"H-He'll apologize later. He always does."

"Like that makes it any better!" Yylfordt retorts, "He has no reason to raise a hand to you! Not like this!" Feeling the other tense, he sighs and softens his voice, "I'm sorry, you just...You're a good friend, Tesla, and I don't like to see you in pain. Especially not caused by the Quinto you serve so loyally. It's not fair."

"It's okay," Tesla answers sliding a hand over his, "Besides, it's not a normal occurrence. And I agree that drinking isn't the way to handle things but...it was one of the only ways we had. It's not often and I'm sure it'll lessen from here on out. You don't need to worry."

"And if it doesn't?" Yylfordt asks looking at him intently, "What if it doesn't, Tesla?"

It's actually promising the cold smile that appears. "I'll make sure he regrets it. Do not think I would idly allow myself to be hurt. I'm capable of handling myself. He got this because I know what he's been through and it was a knee-jerk reaction when he was over his limit. I wasn't careful enough. He's quick-tempered but not abusive. I do know the difference. I appreciate the concern. I always have. But I promise you that it is fine."

"I'll hold you to that...until I see otherwise. Then I'm handling it," Yylfordt tells him sternly, "We've been friends too long for me to allow anyone to harm you; even someone you love."

There isn't a moment's pause before Tesla answers, "Deal."

Yylfordt settles at that and picks his cup back up taking a sip before murmuring, "Do you think we'll figure out what we're doing this way?"

Tesla is quiet a moment before answering, "I think it's as good a chance as we're ever going to get. He's gone. He cannot hurt us anymore. Let's take it as a win and see what happens day-by-day. Since you're looking peaked, I can only imagine that you had a pretty intense night."

"I...cannot actually remember last night," he admits which brings a sheepish smile, "It won't happen again because that is a most unbecoming reaction."

"I think considering things you deserved it. Besides, dealing with Di Roy all this time makes me wonder how you haven't just drowned in liquor."

Yylfordt chuckles bemusedly. "He...is a handful but...I'm capable of ignoring him somewhat."

"And when you can't?"

Yylfordt smirks. "I ask Shawlong to spar with him."

At that Tesla snickers. "I can certainly see that calming him down."

"Usually it knocks him out."

It was comforting; being able to talk to the other like this. Yylfordt had missed the ability to do so because it was dangerous to allow anyone to see connections beyond what was acceptable in a place like Las Noches. And a friendship between two different Espadas' fracciones was definitely something that couldn't be risked. So he'd let it go for now; the bruise. And he'd keep an eye on the blond just in case. Because he knew what Tesla felt for his Espada; knew that his judgement could be skewed due to those feelings.

And the only reason Yylfordt understood it was because he felt the same for the male he owed his allegiance to. And if fate was kind; that same Sexta Espada would never in his life find out the truth of the matter.

His considerations are pushed aside as they are joined by the others in various stages of hungover misery. Tesla snickers softly making him elbow him in the side. "Be courteous."

"I'm probably the only one who isn't hungover and miserable," he points out.

"Regardless, don't be a brat," Yylfordt retorts. Tesla merely smirks but goes quiet.

"Ugh, the fuck was in that?" Comes the growled tone of his Espada that has Yylfordt sighing and shaking his head.

"I'm pretty sure that you do not want to actually know. Which means avoiding it in the future, sir."

"F-fuck, I feel like my head is gonna explode…"

He felt bad, he really did but honestly it was hard to do so when the other looked so damned miserable and his hair looked askew...well more so than normal which was actually pretty impressive. Thankfully, Juushiro had yet to leave and soon has them situated with the same remedy, and Grimmjow grouchily settles.

At least until Nnoitra enters. It seemed that they could not be around each other without someone getting aggressive. Yylfordt isn't sure what to do but watches as the male makes his way around the room avoiding the narrowed-gaze and instead ends up beside Tesla. Yylfordt watches him tilt his head before a sigh escapes. "Clocked ya good did I?"

"It's fine," comes the quiet answer, "Just...try and find a better method of dealing with things would you, Master? You are going to self-destruct at this rate."

The male's jaw tightens but he merely brushes his fingers along the male's jaw before muttering, "Overbearing brat."

Something eases in Yylfordt at the sight but he wisely keeps his thoughts to himself and finishes his drink. Someone like Nnoitra would not take well to anyone pointing out things to him. Even good things. So he just pretends he sees nothing.

It was safer for all involved.

Once the cup is emptied, he slowly approaches his own Espada and slides into a seat in front of him. "I feel like someone used me as a gong," comes the grumbled mutter.

"Well, I suppose we had it coming for overindulgences," Yylfordt answers, "Though I'm sure it had to do with you trying to drink the woman under the table."

The look he receives is quite unkind and he cannot help the grin. "Don't ya dare look so smug, Granz," Grimmjow warns.

"Forgive me," he manages though he's sure he sounds anything but contrite at this point. It was really hard to take his King seriously when he looked so ridiculous. "Though...Perhaps you should erm….handle the bedhead."

He watches him slowly bring a hand up before groaning. "Fuckin'...I cannot even remember what the hell happened last night. Never, ever, fucking ever let me do that again. Ya hear me?"

"Absolutely," he responds. With a huff, the other downs the cup before muttering something Yylfordt cannot quite make out and retreats. The blond finds himself shaking his head and snorting. The male looked like he had a good time.

Well fucked, he realizes. That's what the other looked like; as if he'd had one hell of a bed tumble. And it's quickly followed by a familiar jealousy that he tries to squash down because he had absolutely no reason to feel like he did. It didn't mean it would make the feelings go away but he hoped the reminder would help him reign in his territorial instincts.

He rather envied whoever it was that made Grimmjow look that mussed. He envied them a hell of a whole lot.


	2. Part One

_Disclaimer: *See the Prologue*_

 _Author's note: This is a little fast-paced, I admit but it's how it's writing itself and I might go back and fix and slow things down but this just is the build up to the central issue to this story. So without me getting long-winded, I apologize for the brisk, choppy parts. A beta would be nice so that I can bounce ideas off of but without one right now it's...harder to get things written in a more "concise" and "perfected" manner. As always, all mistakes are mine. This part has few warnings that are especially needed save the obviousness of the "m-preg" warning._

 _Part One_

It takes a few weeks to become accustomed to what their lives would be for the next few years. And Yylfordt is pretty sure that this might be a trial in patience that he isn't exactly in the mood for. Mostly due to one irritation that was growing more and more tiresome as days passed.

"But this is ridiculous!" Di Roy's whining tone has him gritting his teeth wanting to punch the male. He'd been quite unwilling to do this without bitching about everything they had to deal with since it was decided upon. And Yylfordt was finally beyond done with listening to it.

"Then go and tell that to the Head Captain so he can do us the favor of taking you out of our misery!" he snaps. The look of startlement is not too surprising since he tended to attempt to be the calm one in most situations.

"I...Just...it's not fair."

"Just deal with it," Yylfordt retorts trying to lessen the acid in his tone, "We are not capable of doing anything about it. Just...accept the perimeters, Di Roy. They didn't end us. We were very lucky."

"So they expect us to be grateful? Yylfordt, they sent that bastard to us!"

The blonde sighs and rubs his face. "This is a pointless argument, Di Roy. Just...please, let it go." He felt slightly nauseous and had been trying to rest when the other had started in on his long list of complaints. Of course the feeling only increases and a few minutes finds him going and crouching by a trashcan as his stomach revolts.

"Ah, hell...You okay?" Di Roy asks as he approaches and reaches to pull his hair back out of the way.

"J-just...not having a great transition," he manages before his stomach lurches again.

Of course the male stays by him until his stomach calms. "Should get more rest, Yylfordt. You always did work too hard."

He'd protest but now he was dizzy and just wanted to sleep so manages a quiet, "Can...I get you to help me to bed? I…"

He doesn't even have to finish before the other maneuvers him carefully. They might grate on each others nerves but they were comrades. Family even. He's been tucked in before he realizes it. "Sleep, Yylfordt. You're no good to anyone sick," Di Roy murmurs softly.

He falls asleep before he can voice a proper defense for himself.

When the sickness lingers days later, Yylfordt has had enough and ventures to Squad Four because there was no way he was talking to Szayelaporro about it. While things were capable of being breached; neither of them seemed ready or willing to have that particular discussion and to be honest, Yylfordt wasn't quite up to chasing his brother down at the moment.

"So the symptoms have merely continued without fail?" Captain Unohana asks after he gives a brief explanation of his visit.

"Everyday," he answers, "It's...most impractical at this point."

He sees a sympathetic smile start. "I can only imagine that it would be. But you say it fades after a few hours?"

"Yes, only to come back the next day."

He doesn't like the expression that brings before it vanishes behind a neutral one because it meant that he might really need to worry about this. "Let me look into a few tests and we'll see what the results tell me," she says though it does nothing to ease his nerves. He'd seen her look; seen the concern and knew she had an idea of what it might be but didn't want to voice it. Not until she was sure.

Yylfordt just wonders how badly he'd managed to screw up his own life because he was pretty sure that he'd done something in that direction. He was good at it considering his entire track-record. Which of course leads to him pacing the room being careful not to bump into the equipment as he tries to tell himself that there was a reasonable explanation for this whole situation and that he did not need to be so worried over it. With his luck, he'd caught a bug or something.

Of course he cannot quite make himself believe things were fine and it's only worsened when the captain reappears with papers and an unsettling look on her face. Yylfordt tenses unsure what to make of it but cannot seem to ask as the words catch in his throat. No doubt it had to be bad because the woman looked so unsettled. Seeming to realize that what he wanted to attempt, Retsu Unohana regains herself and murmurs softly, "Congratulations, Yylfordt Granz, you are pregnant."

"Wh-what?" he croaks out hearing her assessment. There was no way. There was definitely no way that she was right, that she could be right.

"I've checked and rechecked and then had my lieutenant do the same," comes her response, "It's the correct diagnosis."

"B-but...that's not...H-how…" He struggles to wrap his mind around the whole situation. "I can't be. If you hadn't noticed; I'm male!"

"That was certainly obvious," she responds simply, "But the tests do not lie. Whether or not you want to trust me or believe what I'm telling you; it still remains that the nausea and vomiting are the result of morning sickness due to your pregnancy."

Yylfordt feels himself start to tremble and he's not sure if it's because he wants to scream, laugh, or cry. Pregnant. Of all the...How in the name of whoever had he managed this?! "I...This...I'm really…"

"Yes," she answers, "Yes, you are pregnant."

He would leave squad for and wanders the streets of the Sereitei as he tries to untangle his thoughts and feelings. The first realization that occurs to him is that there was no way he could tell the others because it would lead to too many questions that he just did not have answers for. The most troublesome being who the father was. He had no illusions that this happened during the night he was too drunk to remember his own actions. Fingers tighten and he finds himself feeling off-kilter and...dare he admit it...terrified. He had no idea what to do.

"Yylfordt?" Tesla's voice has him turning his attention not having sensed the other nearby.

"Tes…."

The male takes one look at him and reaches out to lightly brush his hair out of his face. "What's wrong?"

"I…" Tesla could be trusted, he knew that. But he was sure the other would be quite a bit disappointed in him for not taking better care of himself to avoid this. "I…" He looks away. "I've managed to get knocked-up somehow."

"You...Pregnant? You're pregnant?!"

He squeezes his eyes shut. "Somehow."

Arms slide around him and he finds himself pulled closer. "Oh, Yylfordt…"

"I can't tell the others. I can't. They'd never...I'd never live it down. I was drunk and I don't remember what happened. I don't...I don't even know who sired it."

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't, Yylfordt. What matters is that you take care of yourself and the growing child. This is incredible!"

Slowly, he looks at the other. "Do you think so? I think it's...I don't know. I think I'm still trying to process this."

"It **is** amazing, and I hope that you come to realize it, too. I also hope they take after you."

Yylfordt flushes slightly. "I wouldn't wish my genetics on anyone to be honest. But...what sort of...I don't know how this works."

"We'll figure it out," Tesla answers immediately, "but you should tell them. You guys have been a unit too long for you to keep secrets from them. I know...it's not going to be an easy discussion considering the circumstances but you need to tell them so that they can look after you."

He was just afraid of what Grimmjow would say. He's pretty sure the Sexta will not be thrilled that one of his own is carrying a child. But he knew Tesla was right; there was no way that he could lie to them. And more than that; he didn't really want to. No matter how much he feared losing them; he couldn't deceive them. That would just make him feel so much worse.

Pregnant. Wasn't that just a wonderful attribute for his line? Szayelaporro would probably find this hilarious. Though he wasn't in too much of a rush to tell him, either. No matter that it would be his niece or nephew. A child. He was…

...This was never going to work was it?


	3. Part Two

_Disclaimer: *see Prologue*_

 _Author's note: It still feels pretty rushed in places and I really could benefit from a Beta but I suppose I'm too eager to post things with these characters so...I'll do major editing presently of continuity errors. No big warnings for this chapter. I just love the dynamics of the Sexta's Fracciones and of course the Sexta himself so..._

 _Part Two_

"Wait...what?"

He sighs and brings a hand to his face at Di Roy's repeated response. What about this was complicated? Other than the whole damned concept that was. "I'm pregnant," he repeats for the eighth time, "That's why I've been sick. It's...morning sickness."

"How...exactly do you manage this?" Edrad asks staring at him warily, "I mean...you're not exactly…"

"Hell if I know!" he snaps back, "Look, I am not in the mood to try and answer questions I have yet to know myself. Heaven help me I don't know who to blame this on which makes it my problem alone. I just…" His shoulders slump, "I didn't want to have this discussion but...I…"

"Calm down," Shawlong interjects calmly, "And sit. You're going to make yourself more sick and dizzy pacing as you are. Make yourself comfortable. It does you no good to be in a tail-spin if it's not going to change things. I, for one, am glad you told us. I would never want you to endanger yourself out of misplaced pride. The how no longer matters. The fact is that you are. And that needs to be dealt with in a more becoming manner, Yylfordt."

Slowly, he'd take a seat as instructed. It was true; the movements weren't really making him feel better. He was already dizzy. "I...just wish I knew how I managed it. This is...ridiculous."

Shawlong chuckles as he approaches and takes the blanket before drawing it around him. "I hardly think that will help matters at this point. You need to focus on getting through the symptoms without thinking lesser of yourself. Resting is in your best interest."

"Do you...Have you ever heard of Hollows getting pregnant...let alone male ones?"

Shawlong is quiet a moment before nodding. "It wasn't a common known fact but there were some. Not that it ever really ended well but those cases...You're not fully a hollow anymore Yylfordt so the normal rules do not apply. Though if you want my advice: you may want to get our Octava involved."

Red eyes close at that as a sigh escapes. He knew Shawlong had a point but still...He wasn't sure he could handle this sort of conversation with his little brother. Not when he knew so little because he was sure that the lecture about not doing something so dangerous in the future was coming. "He's...still angry with me."

"That shouldn't matter at this point," the older male answers, "And you both should have spoken long before now and cleared things up between the two of you."

He knew part of the blame was his but it still makes him irritable. "I'm not the one who…"

"Yylfordt," comes the interruption, "You are his older brother. Don't give him the chance to protest your will. He may be an Espada but you still have that familial bond. Make him listen to you."

Yylfordt pulls the blankets closer not liking the feeling of being chastised by the other and mutters, "I'll think about it."

Shawlong sighs. "Honestly, it's not insurmountable."

"You're not the one pregnant!" he snaps back, "And won't that just tickle him? It's just something else he can insult me for!"

Shawlong takes a hold of his chin tightly forcing him to face him. "Enough! I know that you two are having issues that you've had these for a while but it still stands that you both should have swallowed your prides long before now. You almost lost him, Yylfordt. Do you honestly want to miss the chance to reconcile with him?"

"No," he answers honestly, "But Shawlong, I don't want to do it while then adding on that I'm pregnant by an unknown sire. I just...He'll never take me seriously."

"Then he's more a fool than even I would take him for. Fact is that he's the best suited to take care of you while you are pregnant. He knows more about us then we'd like but that's a good thing in this case." He releases him. "If you won't tell him then I will but...he should hear this from you."

The conversation follows him even through the nap he takes to try and relax enough to get some rest. Shawlong had a point no matter how much it irked him. Szayelaporro was indeed the best at this point. He just...wasn't sure that it would be worth the scathing, usually painful conversation to admit to his current condition. Though, he was sure too that it would be far harder to tell the Espada who was off on a mission.

But that was for a later consideration.

Of course the nerves return with a vengeance when he rouses from his nap and decides to go and get things over with. Of all the remaining Arrancar, his brother avoided everyone like the plague which was nothing new. Sociable had never been one of Szayelaporro's qualities; the male didn't trust anyone enough for that. Trying to get his thoughts in order, he hovers outside the small building before finally slipping inside. Of course he finds his brother looking through a book though he's not about to be nosy enough to wonder what he was doing. "Szayelaporro, do you have a moment? I really need to talk to you." Watching the other shift his attention immediately to him is almost amusing because he seems startled by Yylfordt's approach before his gaze goes devoid of emotion.

"To what do I owe this approach?" Cold, clinical. As if Yylfordt expected any less from his brother with how things still stood between them; something he feared would never change.

"I need your help." It's hard to force the words from between his lips mostly because he was sure this ended pretty badly.

"You need my help? Now there is something I wasn't expecting. What ever could you need me for?"

Trying to push aside the hurt that the words cause, the blond forces the truth from between his lips."I'm pregnant."

It was almost comical, his brother's expression. "You…"

"Yes," comes his quiet reply struggling to keep his embarrassment to a minimum, "I wish...this wasn't the way this conversation was beginning but it is what it is."

"How long?"

"Since we were given our sentences. I...don't know who the sire is." The tsking sound has him tensing before he'd snap, "Don't. I don't want to hear it! I'm already kicking myself for it, I don't need anyone else to point out that it was a stupid thing to do; getting too drunk to recall what happened. I wouldn't even be here but…" His fingers tighten, "I don't know a damned thing about this. And you're the only one who has the information."

"Well, I am sure Captain Kurotsutchi would be happy to offer his services…"

Anger falls at the mention of the male and a snarl escapes Yylfordt before it can be stopped. "The hell I'm going near that man to do anything but tear his throat out for what he did to you!"

Of course these words have the pink-haired male stilling himself before fingers lightly push the mask up his nose. It was a gesture with so many varied meanings depending on the situation before he murmurs, "It was not a serious consideration. Calm down. Honestly, you get so easily worked-up. I suppose that you went to Captain Unohana? I'll get the results and tests from her to see. I'm sure that for now all you need to is just rest and handle the symptoms as they come. I'll get a few things in the works that will help. Relax, it'll be fine."

It was a start, Yylfordt decides. The other was still distant and clinical but he'd agreed to help. It was progress. "Thank you."

The male snorts and comments, "I'm pretty sure they expected this of me and not you."

Yylfordt stills before retorting, "If you were to end up pregnant you'd never lower your guard so much that you didn't know who it was, Szayel." He lets the self-depreciating barb be the end of things as he retreats unable to continue the conversation or control his own bitter emotions.

At least though it was one issue resolved. The second; he wasn't looking forward to talking to. Not at all. 'Good job,' he thinks, 'Just...spectacular. Next time think things through before you manage to screw things up to this degree.' He's just sure at the end of it that talking to his Sexta is going to be so much worse.

Two days is the time it takes for Grimmjow to return; and the Sexta looks less than thrilled with the task he'd been assigned. Yylfordt watches him drop onto the couch before his gaze would fall on them gaze sharpening considerably. It's not even a second before he'd state, "Spill. I know somethin' is up."

Yylfordt watches the others look from him to Grimmjow and then back again which definitely doesn't go unnoticed. "Guess I can tell who's the one with the issue. What did ya do, Yylfordt?"

The blond swallows before sighing and bringing a hand to his face wishing that things weren't so transparent amongst them. Regardless, it was now or never and Yylfordt is sure this isn't ending well no matter what he says so he merely answers, "I'm...I'm pregnant, Grimmjow."

He doesn't miss the way the other freezes and stares at him a moment before spluttering, "You are WHAT?!"

"Pregnant," he repeats quietly, "I…"

"The fuck did ya...Who the fuck did it?"

"That's...not exactly known at the moment. I don't...remember what happened."

And the others mood shifts immediately, blue eyes narrowing as he rises. "You don't...You got so inebriated that you cannot remember what happened? Yylfordt, someone could have hurt you!"

"I...was fine. I…"

"We're fucking Arrancars, moron! Given time most of our wounds heal!" Grimmjow snaps at him, "The HELL, idiot! You do not ever, ever make yourself so vulnerable that you have no idea what happened to you!"

He wants to fire back the words at him but really, what was it going to help? Grimmjow hadn't gotten himself knocked up now had he? "It's not on my list of repeatable activities," he goes with, voice subdued, "I just...you deserved to know." Preferably before he got himself into trouble that he couldn't get out of.

"Yer all pains in the ass," the blue-haired male mutters as he leans his head back, "Honestly, I shoulda just killed ya all and been done with it. Woulda saved me way too much stress. Since I didn't…" One eye opens and he fixes him with a hard look, "Yer off duty. I don't care how long you can actually do things before it's dangerous. Yer accident-prone enough that there's no fuckin' way I'm chancing it. Does our Octava know?"

"Yes, he knows."

"Sure that was a great conversation 'tween ya two...Ah well, least you're gonna have something that might bridge the gap."

Yylfordt decides to not mention that it might just make things so much worse. It wasn't worth it. "I...will do as you say."

"Damned right you will," Grimmjow retorts, "Christ, Yylfordt. Pregnant. Woulda called that on yer brother."

"...He said the same thing."

"Smart man." Grimmjow's lips curve up at the edges, "Don't fret, 'kay? Yer gonna be fine. Suppose I'm gonna have to deal with the Quinto's brat 'round here?"

"Tesla knows to be careful about appearances considering yours and Master Gilga's penchant for arguing with each other."

Grimmjow rolls his eyes. "I hate that prick. Don' know why Tesla wants to suck his dick but…"

"Don't. Please don't."

The interruption has the male snorting. "You are far too concerned about the blond."

"He's a good friend. And despite the fact that his Espada is...rough around the edges, I think he cares in his own way."

"He ain't killed Tesla yet so yeah, he cares."

That wasn't a satisfactory answer but he wasn't sure it was a lie, either. After all; Nnoitra was a very difficult male on a good day. "But...as per not gaining either of your annoyances, we tend to meet away from you all."

"I'll let it slide. Yer pregnant and if it helps havin' the blond 'round it's fine. I ain't got a problem wit' 'im. Just his master."

"Well, considering that our Quinto tends to just not like you either; I don't think there is much of a chance of him dropping into chat."

"I don't either...so take it as a win."

"Okay," he agrees quietly before leaning back against the couch.

"Feelin' pretty crummy aintcha?"

"A little bit," he agrees as he shifts slightly, "It's been particularly bad probably because I've been worrying so much."

Grimmjow rolls his eyes even as he reaches and takes a hold of a blanket. "Lie down and rest, idiot. I'll get irate if ya stupid enough to throw up on me," he retorts as he tucks the blanket around him.


	4. Part Three

_Disclaimer: *See Prologue*_

 _Author's note: A little time has passed...I'd give it a month or so because I'm abysmal at keeping my own timelines clear. It's long enough for tests to be done to determine paternity...which means that this...is a whole lot of angst._

 _Part Three_

The random bouts of crying were getting old. Yylfordt was quite tired of just tearing up over absolutely nothing. If that wasn't bad enough; he was showing. And that was even more embarrassing. "C'mon, and stop starin' if it's such a damned problem!" Di Roy cajoles trying to get him away from the mirror he was looking into critically.

"But I'm…"

"You are fucking pregnant!" the male snaps in exasperation, "Would you get out of the goddamn bathroom? Some of us actually have to piss!"

Giving him an affronted look, he stalks passed him for the living room where he'd take to pacing agitatedly. "Moody today, I take it," Shawlong remarks from over the top of his book, "Honestly, you should not be so hard on yourself. The child is growing hence needing more room."

"I look like a blimp!" he snaps in return as he finally decides to settle on the couch.

Shaking his head, the older Arrancar chuckles. "I would argue with you but it would get us nowhere. Think what you would like but please try not to take it out on poor Di Roy. Though I know he's earned being the one irritated somewhat with his whining."

Yylfordt just tries to get comfortable and doesn't answer. It would just lead to a fight with the older arrancar that he just couldn't seem to win. A moment later, the door opens and he looks up to see the Captain of the fourth standing there a piece of paper in her hands. "Captain Unohana?" he asks unsure he likes her expression considering the last series of tests involved one that would hopefully help identify the male who had sired the child he was carrying.

"You remember nothing from that night is that correct?"

"Yes," he confirms sure that whatever she would say next was probably not going to like if her look was anything to go by.

"Then I suppose that Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez recalls nothing as well?"

"No, he doesn't recall what he did either. Why does that…" A horrible, sinking feeling fills him. "Captain…"

The woman holds her hand out. "You might want to talk to him...because he is now very much involved in this situation."

He stares at the paper uncomprehendingly a moment before whispering, "He's...He's the sire?"

"Yes."

Somehow he takes the paper from her trembling as he does so not sure if he's on the verge of laughing or crying. Grimmjow. The father of his child was...His attention snaps to Shawlong who has a look of quiet contemplation but stays silent until she leaves before stating, "Well, this certainly complicates things."

There are a few hard swallows before Yylfordt manages, "Should I tell him?"

"Should you...Are you honestly thinking of keeping this from him?"

"I don't know what happened. He doesn't either. Why...why make it more complicated?! He...would never consider me if not for alcohol. It's not fair to…"

"Yylfordt, listen to yourself. There is no way we're going to be able to deceive him. Hell, the longer you carry the more the scent is going to become familiar to him. He'll figure it out. Best to let him know now."

Closing his eyes and slumping back on the couch, he wonders how he could be such a monumental screw-up. "You're right," he whispers feeling his shoulders slump, "I just...It's such a goddamn mess, Shawlong. I don't...I can't admit to failing this badly."

"What are you…" Shawlong's voice trails off before he continues, "How long have you loved him?"

"Does it matter? I'm beneath him! There's...He's not going to forgive me for this and...I don't deserve it anyway."

"Yylfordt," Shawlong states firmly, "Answer the question and stop being so hard on yourself. I suppose, I should have seen something by now though I'm sure you wanted this to remain a secret. There is nothing wrong with how you feel."

"Except that there is," Yylfordt answers voice tight, "We both know there is a serious problem with how I feel about him. He won't approve of it. And he'll be far less forgiving when he finds out that somehow not only did he have sex with me; he also got me pregnant."

"Have faith in him," Shawlong urges gently, "And have faith in your own self-worth, Yylfordt. You have much to offer. Do not sell yourself short."

"He's never given an indication for liking males…"

"He hasn't really indicated liking anyone," Shawlong points out though not unkindly, "Irregardless, let me handle telling him, alright? You are far too emotional for this to go anyway but sideways."

Shawlong had a point in this; he'd always been the most level-headed and could usually navigate around the rest of their emotions. He just hopes that however Shawlong told him; the other wouldn't be in such a bad mood that he would react badly.

Though once the other leaves to find said Espada, Yylfordt finds his fingers sliding over his own abdomen and feeling slightly cheated that he had no idea what transpired between them. This was such a mess, and bound to get more so once Shawlong spoke with Grimmjow. He did not envy the male that conversation. Not one single bit. However, he did not feel at all confident that he would do anything but mess it up more so he'd leave it to the Undecimo to handle.

Instead, he tries to calm his spiraling emotions and convince himself that getting something to eat while figuring that he needs to tell Tesla at least because he was sure he'd need more help in his own corner once Grimmjow learned the truth. It takes a little time before he can finally get the nerve to eat; his stomach finally calming down enough for it. Surprisingly, it was all nerves and not nausea to blame which was a first since this whole thing started. Trying to find a way to tell Tesla what he'd learned is harder and the words are just getting stuck.

When he finally decides on how he wants to proceed, he's not given the chance as the far door is slammed open startling everyone into turning. The sight of Grimmjow looking beyond livid has Yylfordt immediately on edge and red eyes dart to the opposite door wondering if he could manage to get through them before Grimmjow got to him. "TH' FUCKIN' HELL, YYLFORDT GRANZ?!"

He's up before he really knows what he's doing as panic sets in; something so instinctive that he's never had to contend with and he's sonido'd outside before he fully realizes it. And then he just bolts.

It's not a good idea to do this in a place like the Sereitei because he ends up lost in some area he's not familiar with panting and trembling and feeling like he was going to throw-up. Leaning against a wall, he wonders why things had spiraled so far out of control before slumping to the ground. He'd feared this would happen. It was why he'd suggested just not telling him. Now, now he had no idea what he was going to do.

Which of course is followed by tears and him pressing his face into his knees as his emotions get the better of him.

It's cold when he finally calms down and brings the realization that it's also night. Shivering, Yylfordt slowly, weakly gets to his feet. The dim lights are no help in recognizing the area and he slowly makes his way for another street. They all looked the same and being disoriented, the blond isn't sure how to navigate to somewhere familiar.

After several dead-ends and circling the same area, Yylfordt is just ready to curl up in one of the alleys. He can't seem to find his bearings in this maze and there was no way he was raising his reaitsu to be found by the one he was trying to avoid. He presses his forehead against a cold wall and struggles to take in a deep, even breath.

Footsteps have him going tense and he presses against the wall unsure who it was approaching. "Honestly," a familiar voice calls, "The amount of trouble you manage actually surprises me."

Szayelaporro. He'd been found by his little brother. "Did Grimmjow send you?"

"The last thing I am doing is taking anything that moron says to heart and neither should you," the other answers as he approaches, "Males like him are idiots at all the wrong times. No, I'm here because I wanted to make sure you didn't catch pneumonia or get your fool self killed."

"He's angry…"

"He's an imbecile," Szayel snaps, "Only he could get so bent out of shape over something that apparently neither of you can remember."

"I didn't mean for this to…"

"Yylfordt, you have no reason to apologize. Now come along. It's cold and you should not be out here in your condition. Plus now I'm going to have to do some tests because I don't think it's safe for you to be using sonido."

Deciding that arguing did no good, he merely nods his agreement. He wanted to get out of here more than he wanted to protest or argue. Though he's still unsure how to take the fact that he's been saved by his brother.

He's still no closer to an answer as he lets the other take a few tests. "You cannot do something so foolhardy in the future," comes the other's stern words, "Your body cannot take the strain while trying to protect what you carry. So if you want this to go to term then you have to be more careful."

"I will," Yylfordt answers quietly feeling far more tired and subdued than he was used to. It's no better when he gets to his room and curls up on his side because he was sure that there was no avoiding Grimmjow forever and the thought of what came after he got a hold of him was painful to say the least. If nothing else, his tone told Yylfordt that he wasn't thrilled with the situation. The blond didn't need to know anything more than that at this point.

Sleep is hardly restful and he has no choice but to rise when his stomach demands food. Leaving the security of his room has his tension rising and he hopes that somehow the Sexta Espada is off busy with something else so that he doesn't have to…

"Should have figured it would be a matter of waitin' fer ya." The words have him stopping mid-step and wondering why in the name of whatever reigning deity thought this was funny that he couldn't catch a break.

"Can I help you?" The quiet, tired tone is pretty unrecognizable to his own ears and he wishes that his luck held better than this; or that he had at least some sort of help.

"How the fuck do ya get so damned plastered that this manages to happen?"

The accusation has him tensing and he wants to spit back his own caustic commentary when a smoother voice cuts in, "You do realize that it takes two for this to occur and, Grimmjow, considering you couldn't recall either I do not believe spitting at my brother is helping the matter."

Szayelaporro. Why was it him coming to the rescue? Yylfordt could do without this much embarrassment as he was sure the pink-haired male would just hold this over his head, too. "Tch, I still think it's his fault. I'm not prone to havin' sex with anyone in any state, Granz."

Yylfordt swallows and wonders exactly how it had happened considering of the two of them he was the one who had wanted it. Maybe… Shame and guilt fill him as he starts to wonder if this hadn't been his fault in the end. He must have pushed the issue and Grimmjow had just gone with it…

His hand comes to his mouth as his stomach twists violently. Perhaps, perhaps that was… And the train of thought can't complete as he bolts for a trashcan as his churning stomach cannot handle the emotional upheaval.

There is a huffing sigh before fingers draw his hair back. "Stop it. Blaming yourself isn't going to help things."

"I-I…"

"You were drunk. So was he. It doesn't really matter beyond that fact, Yylfordt. Blaming each other doesn't change the fact that you two are having a child. It's as much his as it is yours so you are going to have to be adults about this."

"I don't see how this is my problem!" Grimmjow snaps back, "I ain't interested…"

Anything he would say, Yylfordt doesn't hear as he withdraws because he couldn't bear it anymore. He'd known his feelings were stupid, that they'd always been stupid but hadn't been prepared for them to hurt this much. Stumbling because the tears weren't helping him navigate, he ends up nearly crashing into a wall if not for an arm that stops him. "Take it easy," comes Renji's voice, "This is no way for you to behave no matter how badly it hurts."

"Wh-what would you know?!" he demands feeling his emotions twisting violently, "Y-you have no idea what it's like!"

"No, but I can guess. You love him, don't you? Enough that it ended with you pregnant."

Yylfordt flinches. "This is all my fault...If I didn't want him so much…"

"That is nothing to blame yourself for," Renji chastises as he steers him out of earshot of others, "But it explains a great deal."

"That I'm an idiot. That's about what it reveals."

"Love makes fools of all of us, Yylfordt."

"I wish it wouldn't."

"That's a common feeling too...especially when it comes to certain people we feel like we shouldn't be attracted to. Like your Espada for example...or my captain."

His...Well, that certainly explained a few things. "How have you managed it?"

"I haven't," Renji admits, "I try and keep as far away from him as a can. Kind of helps because he's about as antisocial as they come. But it's...exceedingly painful."

"Then don't ever be fool enough to let him know the truth if you know it ends badly," comes the blond's quiet, painful tone, "Because I can think of more than a hundred things less painful than this."

"I can certainly see that. Come on, I know a quiet place that you can rest for a bit. And don't argue; you look like you haven't slept well in a long time."

Not up to losing to anyone else at this point, he just follows. While things between them were pretty much unsettled they seemed to have let it go at some point. Or neither were willing to bring it up. Yylfordt is all too happy to keep it that way. He's just a little startled to find himself out by Squad Thirteen. "Morning, Captain Ukitake," the redhead calls to the white-haired captain by a koi pond.

Yylfordt watches the male turn before brown eyes light up. "Renji, Yylfordt, hello! Is everything alright?"

"Well, Grimmjow is apparently out of sorts because of things and I figured that Yylfordt could be better served with some actual sleep and food."

The blond wants to protest but finds himself beaten to any sort of response. "Absolutely! Kiyone and Sentaro are intent that I stay here so the company would be welcome. And Yylfordt, you do look somewhat exhausted. I can't imagine it's easy dealing with someone as...tumultuous as your Sexta seems to be."

"Certainly not when he finds out he sired the child I am carrying," he sighs softly.

There is barely a moment of hesitation at the news before Juushiro would return with, "I'm sure that given time he will come around. I suspect he's far more disappointed in himself than you."

"I'm not so sure of that is the problem. This is mostly my fault considering that I love him."

"How does that make this your fault?"

"I'm pretty sure I pushed the situation. I had to have. I'm the one who…"

"You don't remember the incident," Juushiro interrupts not unkindly, "You cannot put the blame on yourself because of how you feel."

"If I didn't like him…"

"It's never good to start with 'what ifs', Yylfordt," Juushiro murmurs, "Come and sit and relax. You will make yourself more stressed instead of less that way and I'm sure that no one wants you to do that."

Deciding that the white-haired male had a point, he settles himself by him. Besides, the koi pond was rather lovely. It's not long before tea and food have him drowsy and he's curled on his side with a blanket and falling asleep.

He wakes up feeling rested though no less guilty. Of course he's not alone and the sight of Tesla has him sighing softly. "Only I can manage something so utterly ridiculous."

"You are too hard on yourself for this."

"Am I? He's so agitated with me and I really can't blame him. I'm pregnant. With his child. And neither of us remembers what the hell happened."

"So it cannot be laid singularly on you, Yylfordt."

"Yeah it can because I'm the one invested in him like this! I'm almost sure that I pushed him into the coupling and he went through with it to appease me."

"Somehow, I doubt that," Tesla answers, "He doesn't strike me as the type to do anything he doesn't truly want to do."

"Tell that then to the furious male who seems to loathe the very idea!" Yylfordt snaps back, "He has zero intentions of accepting things."

"Give him time," Telsa says softly, "This cannot be easy for him either. Let him calm down somewhat and try to be less hard on yourself."

But the problem is that he blamed himself most for things because at the end of the day; he was the one who wanted the other.


End file.
